Ranting | biancababe's Blog

I am still a little crabby. I've decided that I won't talk to DJ because he always tries to throw all of the bullshit on me. He was the one who was telling his friends he fucking "loved" me then did nothing about it. When the whole time I thought we were just friends, so I ACTED LIKE IT! So now he acts like such a bitter little cunt. goddamnit. (no more about him this week.)
Anyway, I'm still listening to the same music and I am progressing into the stuff I started listening to when I was a Sophomore. I wasn't as sad about boys anymore and I started to focus more on myself.
Lolita Bit :)
I had crushes on adult men, all my life. Who hasn't? But in high school I read Lolita and remember I'd seen a movie that was practically the same thing when I was younger. (It was Lolita, of course but I was so young that I remembered hardly anything.) Well, I looked to see if there was a movie adaption of the movie. To my sweet joy..there was. I watched both versions (1962 & 1997) I liked both but oh my god, Dominique Swain is amazing. I read that the scenes wouldn't have been so sexually frustrating if she were a few months older, LOLLL 
I loved the book though, and if anyone who had any fucking sense at all and wasn't a backwater bible-thumping ape maybe they could have appreciated a very well written book like Lolita. The man was not her father, at all. By any means. He was the man who married her mother, whoop dee doo. There is the issue of the age difference, of course. That was wrong..but lets think about this was fiction. Oh, did someone not tell you..sur-fucking-prise!
Because fuck boys.  (and here's why...)
Well, once I saw that it was okay to love someone older than yourself, I hung out with the upperclassmen and got friendly. Unfortunately they were still boys. When I was a Junior I made adult friends and told them about my dilemmas with my male peers and they weren't at all surprised. None of them asked for anything, relationships or anything more than conversation. Which was always pleasant. I dated a 20 yr old when I was 17, he thought he was hot shit because he has a charger... A 25 yr old when I was 18, he broke up with me a week after my 19th birthday because I look so young (fantastic.) So I figured if these "older men" were still acted boys then I'd have to shoot for older, more sophisticated men. And I try to give most guys a chance, what is the harm? 
I'm actually still awake..
but my eyes aren't liking the light from my laptop. So I think I'll try and hit the hay and listen to some music. My sister is making me laugh though. So that is great, she is pretty funny sometimes..a real breath of fresh air. Lets see how she does today on the road. :)
more later/
My mood: pretty awake

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Previous Posts
Little Sister Pt 2, posted December 1st, 2012
Ranting, posted November 27th, 2012
Just a bunch of nothing.., posted November 26th, 2012

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