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biancababe's Blog


Little Sister Pt 2

Back to her hiding her suspension from my mother, it was the 2nd or 3rd day of the  suspension when everything came down. I came home to a dark house and sad & mournful eyes. Because my mom was informed of pictures on my sister's twitter or facebook or whatever from just a day or two before of her (and her friend-who also got suspended) rolling and smoking a blunt. Yes, marijuana..wise choice for someone who's made such great decisions in the past few days. So My mother was in shock of the weed and then out has to come the suspension.
It's just been too much with her and when I started the original blog about her she started up again with a whole new thing. She woke up early, walked about a mile and a half and stole our older brother's car. Her and 2 of her friends went joy-riding and checked into school 75 minutes before it was over!
My mom has already made plans for her to go to an private all-girls Catholic School . . .in Mexico.
I can't argue with her and say thats extreme. She's tried everything. I guess the only thing left is to take away her family.
I'd never want that for her, but for her not the turn out dead or pregnant or on the street..she needs an education. I love her so much, but I'm on my way out too..
My mood: very drained

Ranting

I am still a little crabby. I've decided that I won't talk to DJ because he always tries to throw all of the bullshit on me. He was the one who was telling his friends he fucking "loved" me then did nothing about it. When the whole time I thought we were just friends, so I ACTED LIKE IT! So now he acts like such a bitter little cunt. goddamnit. (no more about him this week.)
Anyway, I'm still listening to the same music and I am progressing into the stuff I started listening to when I was a Sophomore. I wasn't as sad about boys anymore and I started to focus more on myself.
Lolita Bit :)
I had crushes on adult men, all my life. Who hasn't? But in high school I read Lolita and remember I'd seen a movie that was practically the same thing when I was younger. (It was Lolita, of course but I was so young that I remembered hardly anything.) Well, I looked to see if there was a movie adaption of the movie. To my sweet joy..there was. I watched both versions (1962 & 1997) I liked both but oh my god, Dominique Swain is amazing. I read that the scenes wouldn't have been so sexually frustrating if she were a few months older, LOLLL 
I loved the book though, and if anyone who had any fucking sense at all and wasn't a backwater bible-thumping ape maybe they could have appreciated a very well written book like Lolita. The man was not her father, at all. By any means. He was the man who married her mother, whoop dee doo. There is the issue of the age difference, of course. That was wrong..but lets think about this people...it was fiction. Oh, did someone not tell you..sur-fucking-prise!
Because fuck boys.  (and here's why...)
Well, once I saw that it was okay to love someone older than yourself, I hung out with the upperclassmen and got friendly. Unfortunately they were still boys. When I was a Junior I made adult friends and told them about my dilemmas with my male peers and they weren't at all surprised. None of them asked for anything, relationships or anything more than conversation. Which was always pleasant. I dated a 20 yr old when I was 17, he thought he was hot shit because he has a charger... A 25 yr old when I was 18, he broke up with me a week after my 19th birthday because I look so young (fantastic.) So I figured if these "older men" were still acted boys then I'd have to shoot for older, more sophisticated men. And I try to give most guys a chance, what is the harm? 
I'm actually still awake..
but my eyes aren't liking the light from my laptop. So I think I'll try and hit the hay and listen to some music. My sister is making me laugh though. So that is great, she is pretty funny sometimes..a real breath of fresh air. Lets see how she does today on the road. :)
more later/
My mood: pretty awake

Just a bunch of nothing..

I haven't been in the best of moods lately, I've reverted to my early high-school taste in music. Which means I'm kind of crabby and a little sad. The only few people who would make me feel better didn't really make me feel better but just understood why I felt the way I did. god, I just had one of those deep teenage huffs. i haven't sighed like that in a while, I'm just a wuss. I need to talk to DJ but he hates me because I didn't like him enough until I was already taken. Why would that even make any sense? I hate teenage hearts, that is one of the big reasons why the music industry is booming...bleeding-aching-broken teenage hearts. Just wanting.
My brother on the other hand, is loving that I'm listening to this music. Its bringing back some good memories for him. When he was young and carefree. No girlfriend, no kids, no bills, just his friends and art. I try not to cry and worry about him but he really just gave up. His only outlets now are video games and pot, I wish it weren't true, really cause I hate that he's one of those people that think it's okay to be baked 70% of the time. ugh. 
And I'm helping my 16 yr old sister get her driving smoothed out. She's great at parking, I'm such a freak when she drives. I thought I wouldn't be but I totally am -____-
More on that later, my friends want to know "whats wrong?"
blehhhh

1-3 of 3 Blogs   

Previous Posts
Little Sister Pt 2, posted December 1st, 2012
Ranting, posted November 27th, 2012
Just a bunch of nothing.., posted November 26th, 2012

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